You'll adore the step that everyone's been waiting for
You'll find a crowd on every dancing floor
Because of something called the Swing Trot
Remember Swing Trot
It's a deal It's very simple with terrif' appeal
You grab a partner when you hear a band And you're the greatest dancer in the land
It's bill and coo-y Tea for two-y
Just watch your partner's eyes grow dewy
Entre nous-y, you're slightly screwy
But irresistible!
On and on Oh, what a natural they've hit upon
It gets you going till you're really gone And you will never rue the day
The day you realize the Swing Trot is here to stay
Speech!
Thank you again, ladies and gentlemen.
We're overjoyed at this wonderful reception...
of our third show together...
and I think I speak for my two lifelong partners...
my charming wife and Ezra Millar, the composer...
when I say that none of us could have done it without the other two.
I don't know. I've done it before without you two.
Four shows, four flops.
Ezra, the score to this is just wonderful. I feel you should get all the credit.
I do, too.
Incidentally, while we're patting each other on the back...
what about your little woman?
She contributed something to the occasion.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. But what would my performance be...
without my husband Josh Barkley's clever lyrics...
and brilliant direction?
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure that my lyrics and direction...
would mean absolutely nothing...
without my clever and brilliant wife to perform them.
But, ladies and gentlemen, I merely perform the material...
the way my husband taught and directed me.
But, ladies and gentlemen, in the hands of a talent...
such as my lovely wife Dinah's...
any material would look pretty darned wonderful.
- But, ladies and gentlemen... - Ladies and gentlemen...
this meeting of the mutual admiration society...
is now adjourned. Thank you, and good night.
- Sign my book. - Just one more. Please sign.
Just one more.
There you are. All right. That's the last one now.
- We've got to go. - I'm going.
- Where are you going? - Have a good time.
- Goodbye. - Have a nice time.
- Allow me, madam. - Thank you, sir.
Must we go to old lady Belney's party? It's so nice here.
But we have to. Opening night party at Mrs. Livingston Belney's.
My dear, it's a state law.
Opening night. It was wonderful, though, wasn't it?
- Everything went so smoothly. - It just goes to show...
all those little troubles along the way just don't matter now.
Like those silly little rows we had in rehearsal and on the road.
Darling, did you really mean all those things you said about me...
in your curtain speech?
Honey, of course I did.
It was your show tonight. I could feel it.
Then you mean it was really all right?
All right? Why, you were terrific.
You got all your laughs, your timing, every gesture, perfect.
Oh, thank you, darling.
Of course, if I wanted to be a... Well, it didn't amount to anything.
There was one place in the subway scene...
that maybe you could've gotten a little more out of.
But, well...
Really?
No, it was nothing. It was just a...
No, what was wrong? I want to know.
It was just a detail.
Probably opening night nerves. We'll talk about it later.
I want to talk about it now. I won't sleep a wink tonight...
- worrying about it. - Nothing to worry about, drop it.
You brought it up. You think you can sit here, criticizing me...
I don't want to go into it. It's just a detail.
It's always just a detail.
A detail here, a detail there, and then it starts to grow.
Pick, pick, pick on everything I do. It's just...
What was it?
Well, if you must know...
I just thought you could've put a little more drama in there.
A little more emotion. The audience wants to cry there.
You didn't let them. You owe it to them.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
- Did it ever occur to you that you... - The doorman.
Well.
There they are! Welcome, my darlings.
- Josh! Dinah! - What?
- I've got something important to tell you. - I've got to talk to you.
- Hurry up. - What's the secret?
What are you doing? Stop it.
Well, what?
- What is the matter? - Nothing.
I thought I'd rescue you from the squares.
- Thanks, pal. - I wondered.
"In the nick of time Ezra," that's my name.
- Come on. Have some coffee. - No, thanks.
Like during those curtain speeches. If I hadn't stopped you...
you'd have been at each others' throats in another second.
What do you mean "at each others throats"?
- We meant every word we said. Didn't we? - Of course.
Ezra, you exaggerate this thing about our fighting much too much.
- Sure. - After all, we haven't had a fight in weeks.
- In weeks. - Of course not.
I apologize for what happened in the car, Dinah.
I'm sorry. I apologize to you.
And I apologize to both of you for having let you out of my sight.
It's my fault.
Hey, Cleo. Where have you been?
I beg your pardon, Mr. Millar. This lady happens to be my wife.
Congratulations. Are you happy in your work?
- Cleo? - Looking for me, baby?
Why don't you wear an X on your forehead? Come on, follow me.
There's Mrs. Belney. She's going to ask us to perform.
Let's duck. Mrs. Belney.
- Excuse us. I'm sorry. - Thank you very much.
- Excuse us, please. - I know what let's do.
- What? - We'll fill these plates...
- smuggle them under our coats, go home. - We can't.
- This whole thing is for us. - There must be a place we can be alone.
- Well, I know, but... - Let's go out on the terrace.
Honey, there's snow out there.
I'll get your wrap. We'll have a picnic.
- Wonderful! - Fine. Now you pile up your plate...
and follow me out there. Bring a knife and fork.
I'll probably freeze to death.
May I be of some assistance, Mrs. Barkley?
Thank you, yes.
- Would you mind holding that? - Not at all.
We haven't met. I'm Jacques Barredout.
How do you do? Of course.
I should have recognized you from your pictures.
I'm glad you didn't. They're frightful.
The only good one I have is rather indecent, I'm afraid.
Taken on a bearskin rug at the age of three months.
I have one of those, too.
- You do? - Yes.
I'm quite an admirer of your plays.
I understand you're just finishing a new one.
It's just about finishing me. My most serious effort. I plan to direct it.
- How nice. - I only hope it'll be half as successful...
as your little musical extravaganza. I was there tonight.
- Well, the audience seemed to like it. - Unfortunately, I did not.
- Well, at least you're honest. - Now, don't be angry, please.
I don't care for musical comedy in general.
- But this one for a special reason. - And what was that?
You.
You're wasted in musical comedy. You could be a great tragic actress.
Monsieur Barredout, you really don't mean that.
I do.
There was one moment in particular I was moved to tears, the subway scene.
Shall we?
The subway scene!
And who knows? Sarah Bernhardt, Eleanora Duse...
in this crass, modern, commercial theater might have ended up in musical comedy...
just as you have done. Don't you see?
Oh, but it's so utterly silly of you to compare me...
with those inspired immortals.
After all...
But you really did think in the subway scene I had some of their...
Their quality. Mais oui.
How extraordinary.
Only a few minutes ago I was talking to someone...
who didn't think I had the emotional gift at all.
- He must be a complete idiot. - Well, it's interesting to get both...
- Oh! Darling, where have you been? - Siberia.
Bless you.
I got into the most interesting conversation with Monsieur Barredout.
Allow me to present Monsieur Barredout. Mr. Husband.
- Barkley's the name. - How do you do?
- I was telling your wife...
- I'd seen your show tonight and I think... - Don't tell him.
- Charming. - Thanks.
And now, Mrs. Barkley, I hope we meet again...
now that we have a bearskin rug in common.
- Will you excuse me? - Certainly.
- Au revoir. - Au revoir.
Don't you think we ought to...
Where are they? Oh, there you are!
You're not going? Darlings, I want you to come...
- do the little number you did. - Sorry, I can't sing, I have a terrible cold.
I may not be able to do the show tomorrow night.
- But, Millie, I'm in beautiful voice tonight. - Don't you think you better play?
Listen everyone, Ezra's going to play.
- Good. - Oh, that's wonderful.
You know my favorite, darling. Pale Fingers.
Did anybody here ask for the Sabre Dance?
- I'd like to hear Campanella. - Rhapsody in Blue.
Malaguena.
- Sabre Dance, anybody? - Oh, no.
Well, if you insist.
Opening night.
Some opening night.
All right. What about opening night?
Big sentimental occasion.
Our moment of triumph. And what do I find you doing?
Flirting with a stuffed dinner jacket.
- Flirting? - Flirting.
- Oh, darling, how perfectly ridiculous. - Yeah.
I was just sitting there...
- talking to the man, that's all. - Sure, naturally.
- And I couldn't get away. - You couldn't get away.
And I'm out there on that terrace catching my death of cold.
A lot you care if I have to do the show from an oxygen tent.
An oxygen tent! Oh, really!
I've been sneezing and coughing like a Model T.
You haven't had a hint of a sneeze for over an hour.
I'll bet you're sorry I'm not sneezing.
- Go find a nice draft, sneeze your head off. - I will not!
Oh, darling, don't be so childish!
- A lot of sympathy a fellow gets here. - You're tired, so am I.
- I could stay in bed for a week. - Could be in bed for a week...
and nobody would give a hang.
- What's the matter with... - Did you say something?
For all you care, I'd still be out on that terrace frozen blue...
and you'd still be inside simpering at that half-stuffed...
- Oh, Josh. - "Oh, Josh."
I really don't know what to think of Mr. Barredout.
He said some of the silliest, most stupid things.
Let's hear some of those stupid things you were so afraid he'd repeat to me.
Well, if you really must know, he just hated the show.
Did he? I'm glad. Now I know it's good.
- He hated... - And the funniest thing of all...
is that he thought I was at my best in the subway scene.
Oh, no!
He says I'm a great tragic actress...
wasted in musical comedy.
You, a tragic actress?
I'm glad you told me. Now I know he's a complete imbecile.
He's not such an imbecile as all that.
After all, before I really went into the theater...
in high school, I played Juliet.
"Romeo, Romeo
"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
- Who played Romeo? - Mildred Higgins. She was...
It's possible that Monsieur Barredout could see things in me...
- that you don't appreciate. - Don't get any silly notions in your head.
- You're a song and dance girl. - That's all you ever allowed me to do.
- What? - That's all you ever allowed me to do.
"Allowed you"? Why, you couldn't walk across the stage without me.
There isn't a gesture you do that I didn't teach you.
That's a lie!
It took a lot of patience to put you where you are.
- Patience? - I worked. I pulled things out of you.
- I think that's going... - I molded you like...
- Oh, sure. - Like Svengali did Trilby.
- Svengali? - Yeah, the guy with the beard, that's me.
- Why, you cheap... - Go ahead. Throw it.
Thank you, and good night.
- Blood! - Blood?
- Blood? Darling, what have I done? - Nothing. It's just concussion, that's all.
- Darling, no. What have I done? - I don't know.
Please come in here, let me fix it. I'll put water on it.
- Looks like a fractured skull. - Let me fix it for you. You have a hanky?
What with walking pneumonia and concussion...
a fine performance I'll give tomorrow night.
I'm so sorry. I'm so...
- Oh, it's stopped bleeding. - It has?
- Yes. You're going to be all right. - I am?
Dearest, I'm horrible! I'm just horrible!
I know what let's do.
Come on. Now, hit me!
- In cold blood? - Well, come on. I deserve lt.
You look so brave and you didn't even ask to be blindfolded.
- I just can't. - I insist upon being punished.
All right. You asked for it.
- Thank you, darling. - Thank you.
- I love you. - I love you, too, baby.
I know what let's do. Let's go downstairs...
- and fix some scrambled eggs and toast. - I'm not hungry.
- But we didn't eat at the party. - Sure. You were so busy, I was...
- Now, now... - I'm sorry.
I'll go get your robe.
You must keep nice and warm. We'll turn on the heat downstairs.
Hey, let's light the fire.
Here you are, darling. Oh, you shouldn't smoke.
It isn't good for your cold.
I have a confession to make. I haven't got a cold.
I know it.
All that I know
Is you'd be hard to replace
Where else in all the world
Such loveliness and such grace?
The poet often chanted
The love he found divine
But never was he granted
A lady-love like mine
Deep down, deep down inside
My secret heart knows
The more that I'm with you
The more and more my rapture grows
Without you at my side
I fear
No future could I face
For you'd be
Oh, so hard to replace
Hello, Ezra.
For the producer of a hit show, you look awful sad. What's up, Bert?
- I'm worried, Ezra. Just sit down. - What about? The show closing in 1953?
I'm worried about Josh and Dinah.
They haven't had a fight since the show opened.
They've got a peace pact.
That's just it. This tension is too much for me.
All this calm, all this lovey-dovey. I don't quite trust it.
Ezra, we've got to get an understudy for Dinah.
Don't look at me, I'm knock-kneed.
Come on up on the stage.
There's a cute kid from the chorus I've had my eye on for some time.
I want you to listen to her.
Dinah's never had an understudy. She's not gonna like it.
Someone will have to break it to her gently.
- I'll bet I'm elected. - Shirlene!
- Yes? - Ezra, this is Shirlene May.
Hello, Mr. Millar. I'm just scared to death...
to sing for such a talented composer as you are.
I'll let you know about that later. What're you gonna sing?
Mrs. Barkley's blues song from the show.
- Good. - Okay, Shirlene.
Well, if you all are ready, I am.
I'm gonna sing
- Hello, everybody. - Hi.
- Look who dropped in. - What are you doing here?
- We'd like to rehearse. - In the middle of the night, isn't it?
- See you. I'd better get back. - Wait a minute.
We're caught with our understudy showing.
- Understudy? - Understudy?
Josh, Dinah, come here a minute. I want you to...
Ezra!
It's like this. In case anything ever happened...
I mean, in case the two of you just sometime...
What he means is, if you two ever quarrel and you decide...
not to go on some night, Dinah. Bert felt you should have an understudy.
- Nothing wrong with that. Wonderful idea. - Why not?
- What? - We don't object, do we?
Of course not. You won't need one.
- Wonderful. - Mr. Millar, excuse me. Can I sing now?
- Of course. Go right ahead. - Fine. Thanks.
- Honey. - Yes?
Dinah, this is Miss Shirlene.
- Hello, Mrs. Barkley. - Oh, hello.
- Cute. - She's going to sing your blues number.
I hope I remember it. I'm so frightened in front of all my bosses.
- I guess I shouldn't have said that. - Don't be silly. We're all your friends.
- Why, sure. - Go on, Shirley.
- Thanks. It's Shirlene. - Shirlene, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Cute?
- Is this all right? - Yeah, fine. Go ahead.
Joe, please.
I'm gonna sing
It's not necessary to make Shirley audition...
- Shirlene. - Yes, I know, dear.
She'll be perfect for the part.
Let's start our rehearsal or we won't get it done.
- Break it up. Here we go. - We have a long dance.
You're it. Come on. We'll go up to the office.
- Thanks. Thanks awfully. - All right.
You've all been so wonderful to me and I want to thank you.
And, Mrs. Barkley, I'm going to learn your part real good.
I'll probably never get to do it, but, well, you never can tell, can you?
Well, I guess that's show business. Bye.
Josh, what about lunch?
Can't do it. We have to rehearse this number.
It goes in the show tonight. And then we've to go...
to the gallery where that fellow's got that portrait...
for publicity or something of us.
- The art gallery? - Yeah.
Well, that's show business.
- I didn't think she was as cute as all that. - Not quite as cute as all that, Mr. Barkley.
Your worries are over. With that hunk of fluff in the wings...
why, Dinah would go on with two broken legs.
All right. Go.
...principle between art forms...
- and formed art. The secret... - It's here. I'll get Ladi.
- The Barkleys are here. - Are you ready?
Ready.
Mr. Ladislaus Ladi, the Barkleys.
Mr. Barkley, Mrs. Barkley, this is a great pleasure.
I've never met you, but now that I see you...
I realize how perfectly I've captured you.
I hope you will admire my crude efforts.
I'm sorry to be so stupid...
but why am I a pancake?
As I see you, you are creative union.
You, creative frying pan...
in which the shapeless, raw batter, you...
are transformed by creative miracle...
into irresistible pancake.
It is Pygmalion breathing life on Galatea...
or like, who's that fellow...
- With the beard? - Yeah.
- Svengali. - Yeah!
- Yes. - Only impression, of course.
Naturally, it's only an impression.
I am very grateful for the explanation.
If you'll forgive me, I'll go now.
Goodbye.
What's the matter, honey?
Did you hear what he said? Svengali.
If that's what everybody thinks, there must be something to it.
- After all, these are just total strangers... - Darling! How divine.
We've come all the way from the country to see your portrait.
- Well, it's... - You remember Monsieur Barredout?
- Hello. - Mrs. Barkley, Mr. Barkley.
How are you? We were just leaving.
Oh, wait a moment. I'm perishing for the sight of your portrait.
I hear it's brilliant.
- It's right up there. - Well, come along.
I'm sure it's perfectly dreadful.
Ladi's nothing better than a tenth-rate surrealist.
I'm so glad to hear you say that.
You know, for a minute I was just a little afraid he might make sense.
I very much doubt that he could possibly capture you.
I guess we'd better hurry. Gotta put on the old feedbag.
Wait, you impulsive children. Always scurrying.
I can never pin you down. I want you for next Sunday in the country.
It's for Jacques. He's finished his play.
- How nice! Congratulations. - Thank you.
Well, we'd like... I think it's all... I don't... Josh.
Josh, where are you?
You must come. We'll all sit around an open fire...
and roast a few old chestnuts.
And then possibly later, we can roast my play.
Please try to come.
Well, we'll see.
Oh, no! I don't believe we could, because, you see...
we have tickets for the symphony.
Yes, I'm terribly sorry, Millie. Josh, we really must go.
- It's nice to have seen you. - There's no symphony...
- Why didn't you help me out? - I didn't think you wanted me to.
You didn't want to go.
- Do you? - No.
Then why the hesitation? All you have to say is, "I'm sorry, can't make it."
You acted as flustered as a schoolgirl at a prom.
You flustered me.
What kind of talk is that? "Gotta go put on the old feedbag."
That fellow brings out the gangster in me. Stick to the subject.
- lf you want to go, go! - I don't want to go.
But if you want to go, I'm not going to try to hold you back.
I wish we'd never gone to that exhibition, then this wouldn't have come up.
Dinah, every time you've come in contact with that fellow Barredout...
you've been affected in a very peculiar manner.
"Every time"? I've only met the man twice.
He's got some kind of strange hold on you.
Look, let's get the cast of characters straight.
You're Svengali, remember? How many do I need?
- Excuse me. I should have knocked. - Yes, you should have.
Well, now that I'm inside, apologies and all that.
I wanted to ask you about that makeup base you use.
- Please don't. I'm fixing my eyes. - I'm sorry.
In case I ever do go on, I'd like to look like you.
- It's Number four. - Is it really?
Well, it looks wonderful on you.
That's funny. I tried it once, you know, and it just looked awful on me.
I thought maybe I was allergic or something.
I took it back to the store and the girl there said:
"Well, it's all right for a different type of skin."
Mine's much too delicate. Now, isn't that ridiculous?
Yes, as a kid they used to call me "Old Elephant-hide."
- I didn't mean... - Shirley.
- It's Shirlene, dear. - Do you mind? We haven't much time.
Of course not. Pardon the intrusion.
It's just that I'm so willing to learn, Mr. Barkley...
Well, I'll be watching you. Bye.
Though we're called a people of serious mind
'Tis often we dance, 'tis often we sing
And being as human as all humankind
We aren't superior to having a fling
I'm taking the fling of a lifetime
The fling of a husband and wife-time
When I went romancing
I gave no thought to any wedding ring
Every bonny lassie
Was my highland fling
No chance was I chancin'
I'm not the man you dangle on a string
I was canny waiting
For the real, real thing
Though I danced each girl in a twist and twirl
Na ' one would do
And I went my way till the fatal day
In the fling I was flung with you
Oh, now
My heart is prancing gay as a lark
And happy as a king
The years I'll weather
In the hame or on the heather
With my one and only highland fling
I thought you were falling for Andy MacPherson
Nay, nay, he became an impossible person
But what about you and that Connie Mackenzie?
She talked when I putted and drove me to frenzy
But what of the lad known as Bobby MacDougal?
It pays to be thrifty, but he was too frugal
And weren't you daft about Megan McDermott?
I tasted her cooking 'Twould make me a hermit
How jealous I was of McDonald McCutcheon
His neck had a head on but there wasn't much in
And what about Sandy?
His hands were too handy And wasn't there a Jenny?
I'm not wanting any
I'm not wanting any but you
When I went a-dancing
No special lad I was encouragin'
Every lackly laddie was
My highland fling
No glance I was glancing
Well, nothing really worth a-mentioning
Hopin', watchin', waitin'
For the real, real thing
Though they spoke me soft in the moonlit oft'
Na ' one would do
Till it came to pass to this lucky lass
In a fling I was flung with you
Now my heart is prancin'
Nothin' about ya I'd be alterin'
The years I'll weather
In the hame or on the heather
With me one and only highland fling
Are you all right, Mrs. Barkley?
Yes, I'm all right.
This may sound like awful prima donna stuff...
but I can't stand that girl.
Now, it isn't as bad as all that, is it?
Yes, it is. She gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Every time I turn around, there she is staring at me.
Now, don't get jumpy about her, honey.
I'll rehearse her in the afternoons and keep her out of the wings, all right?
If you don't get jumpy whenever I see that silly Barredout man.
No, I won't. The next time I see him I'll go out of my way to be nice to him.
That's better.
- You know something? - What?
I think you and I could use a little relaxation...
sort of a Sunday in the country or something.
We'll go to Millie's, and I promise you when I see Barredout...
I'll treat him like a long-lost cousin.
- That's my baby. - Yeah.
Ezra, get a whiff of that fresh air.
Can I go home now?
- Hello, there. - Hello.
- Let me take those bags, sir. - Yeah.
- How far is the house from here? - About half a mile, madam.
- Let's walk. - No!
- Come on. - Say, that's a great idea.
It'll put the color back in those cheeks.
They're my favorite color now. A nice healthy green.
- Go ahead, driver. - Yes, sir.
- We turn right at the fork, don't we? - Yes, sir. Then left at Pinetop Road.
Fine. Now I remember. Thank you.
With golf and tennis 'round you And no cares to hound you
When Mother Nature beckons, who can decline?
Till Mother Nature vetoes The bees and mosquitoes
Mother Nature is no mother of mine!
From Saturday night to Monday morn, There's always joy ahead
From Saturday night to Monday morn, I wish that I were dead!
A weekend in the country Never will let you down
You'll pardon my effrontery I'd rather spend it in town
A weekend in the country Healthy and full of sport
And then it isn't small potatoes
When you get those fresh tomatoes
I've a list of fresh tomatoes Suing me now in court
Oh, give me the milk from the moo-cow
Of corn right from the field, I'm fond.
In town I'd be splurgin' On venison and sturgeon
Beside a beautiful blonde
A weekend gets you sunburned Vitamin A you win
I'd rather get back unburned With my original skin
A weekend in the country Glorious, there's no doubt
A weekend in the country What's the next train out?
A weekend in the country Trees in the orchard call
When you've examined one tree Then you've examined them all
A weekend in the country Happily we endorse
Come get your share of nature's bounty
Ride the trail around the county
I am no Canadian Mountie Why do I need a horse?
Hark, hark to the song of the bullfrog
At dawn, you rise up with the lark
When roosters run riot I much prefer the quiet
Of Forty-Second and Park
Get peppy and alivey Don't be a city poke
I once got poison ivy
Will you try for poison oak?
A weekend in the country
Dickey-bird's overhead
A weekend in the country I should've stood in bed
Good morning, Jacques, dear genius boy.
Good morning.
I must say good morning to all my other guests. Good morning.
- Darling, that was a wonderful shot. - I liked it, too.
It's Dinah Barkley.
And Josh Barkley.
Oh, yes, and Josh.
Hello, there, Millar. I didn't see you.
It is a bit foggy, isn't it?
Hi, Jackson! Dig you later, boy.
Qu'est-ce que c'est? "Dig you later"?
Honey, don't you think that's overdoing it a wee bit?
I hear you just finished tearing off your latest masterpiece.
- Who's starring in it? - Pamela Driscoll.
Oh, yes, Pamela Driscoll. I can just see the play.
A well-dressed, brittle affair?
Not at all. My play is a character study of a great actress, Sarah Bernhardt.
It deals with her early years, so I call it The Young Sarah.
It takes a great actress to play a great actress.
You're absolutely right, Millar.
Pardon me. Gloria, this is Mr. Barredout.
How do you do?
- Jacques, darling! - Hello, Pamela.
Hello, Ezra. Hello, Gloria.
Can you imagine me playing Sarah Bernhardt?
I'm working on it.
Nothing.
Jacques, I've memorized the first scene. I'd like to do it for you.
I've got such ideas about the part.
For my entrance, I'm going to wear a sumptuous black velvet suit.
Period, of course, you understand...
Pamela, remember, it's not clothes that will make this part.
I know, darling, I know.
Young Sarah must have sincerity and sensitivity.
And she will.
Now come on in the library and let me read for you.
- I'll join you in a minute. - Good. I'll get the script.
- You know what I like about you, Gloria? - What?
You're free of the slavery of talent. Your play.
Hello, there.
Hello.
Hello, Jacques! How are you, boy? Glad to see you.
I hope you've had enough of this good clean fun.
Why don't we all go inside and take a sleeping pill?
- Beg your pardon. - I beg your pardon. My fault.
Not at all.
Ez, you promised to play a little golf with me.
I feel just dire. I was hoping you'd forget it.
- Honey, do you mind? - What?
- We're going to play a little golf. - Not at all. I'll go shower and change...
and meet you on the ninth green in an hour.
- Fine. - Okay.
I'll be waiting. Come on.
- You can come along, Gloria. - You going to teach me to play golf?
If you're good, you can wear a sumptuous black gown and play the best part: caddy.
Oh, caddy, that's cute.
Here it is. I was looking for it.
Yes, I found it right here in the middle of the floor.
Pamela must have left it. She was a trifle upset.
Yes, I noticed something was wrong.
Is she going to be in it?
- What part is she going to play? - Sarah.
- Sarah? - I know just what you're going to tell me.
She's a dreadful choice for the part.
It's unanimous.
I just finished telling her myself.
- Well, then why is she going to be in it? - I promised it to her, unfortunately.
I can't understand an author like you doing such a thing.
Here you take what might be a great piece of theater and deliberately...
ruin it by giving it to someone you know isn't right for the part at all.
I know it's none of my business, and I'm very sorry for...
Oh, no, please. I'm very upset about all this.
I'd like to discuss it more with you.
I'd love to.
And maybe I could, sometime, but I've got to go meet my husband...
They won't be at the ninth green for at least a half hour.
Please come and sit down.
Go ahead, Ez.
I don't know why playing caddy is the best part.
I never get to hit the ball.
Stop complaining. Neither do I.
- Nice try. - All right. That's good.
Well, I'm sorry, putt it out.
Putt it out?
Why not? It's the philosophy of the game.
It's a kick away. You're not going to make me putt that?
What's the matter? Jangled nerves? Let's see you do it. It's simple.
I'm giving this fellow three strokes a hole handicap...
and he's making me putt one-inch putts. Look out, will you? Step back.
Oh, well.
Nice try. You better stick to your dancing.
- Putt it out. - Oh, now look...
- Come on. - All right.
Lets go back to the house.
No, Dinah's going to meet us. She'll be here any minute.
That is the end of Act Two.
Oh, it's thrilling. Perfectly thrilling.
I'm convinced that you must wait until you have the right actress for the part.
Yes. But who?
Well, I don't know offhand.
Certainly, you must have someone in mind.
Yes.
Who?
You.
That's the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever said to me.
Just think.
Look at the rain on the fields.
Every living thing is lifting its thirsty face.
She said she'd meet me here.
Be reasonable, Josh. Love will find a way.
I'm soaking wet. It's raining.
Nonsense. Just a few million scattered drops that got together.
Wait till I get my hands on her!
- Why wait? Let's go now. - Let's go.
Well, it's about time.
- Okay. - Come on.
Last one in is a rotten egg!
Dinah, I am not going to do the play with anyone else but you.
You're mad.
But haven't you ever felt the need to prove yourself...
to lift yourself to heights no one ever dreamed you were capable of?
It's out of the question. I'm perfectly contented.
And besides, I love my husband and I love working with him...
and a step like this would mean the breaking up of our career together.
Of course. The whole idea was stupid.
We won't speak of it again. Ever.
Do you think I really could play Sarah Bernhardt?
I knew it.
- You do want to do this. - Oh, no!
Dinah, I'll wait a year, until your show closes.
Just say you'll do it.
No. I'm fine for musical comedy.
That's what I'm suited for...
but no one would believe me in a serious part.
Of course they would.
I think you're going to have a quick chance to prove it. Look.
That's my husband!
- And it's raining! What'll I do? - Act.
Act? No. I'll hide! That's what I'll do. How's this?
- That's much too obvious. - What'll I do?
- Improvise. - Improvise? I'm terribly faint.
I feel sick.
Oh, I feel terribly sick.
You look terribly healthy.
I do? That's no good. I'll take my makeup off.
You'd better hurry, whatever you do. They're coming.
Oh, no! Say, now you've got to hide.
Well, good luck, Camille.
Dinah?
Don't you wave at me. What's the idea of standing me up in a hurricane?
Josh. I thought you'd never get here.
- Never get here? What... - Take it easy, Josh.
- I think she might really be sick. - Sick? What's the matter, darling?
Oh, it's nothing.
- It's just that I've been terribly faint. - Ezra, get something.
- What? - Get something. Brandy.
Darling, what happened?
I don't know. I was coming down to meet you...
and suddenly I felt very strange.
Everything started to go round and round.
I came in here to rest for a minute...
and I must have fainted.
I'll never forgive myself for thinking what I did.
Oh, Josh, you sound so far away.
I'm right here, darling. I'm right here.
I felt so cold and suddenly so hot...
and dizzy.
Josh, I've never felt like this ever before.
You've never felt like this before?
Sweet, honey, baby, you mean... It's wonderful!
- What? - Ez!
No, it's not that. Definitely.
It's just that I've had too much tennis or too much sun or...
I want to go home.
- We will go home. Just... - Here, take a sip of this.
- No, I'm too weak. - It's cognac.
- It's brandy. - I'm too weak.
Maybe we'd better get Shirlene ready for tomorrow night.
Oh, no. I'll be all right.
- Help me, Josh. - You're all right now.
We'll go home and everything will be fine.
All you have to do is just leave it to me.
"Sarah, flustered, steals last look at her book and gets up.
"The judges: 'What will you recite, Mademoiselle? '
"Sarah, nervously: 'The potion scene from Romeo and Juliet. '
"She pauses. Judge: 'Very well, begin."'
- Hello, honey. - Hello, darling.
- Miss me? - Well, of course.
You've almost been gone a half an hour.
What happened, no rehearsal with Shirlene?
I called it off. We're having pictures taken for Look magazine today.
Oh, my dear, I forgot all about it. I must change.
That's just the way they want to see you. The beautiful Mrs. Barkley at home.